But as I’ve already established fate has it out for me. So as I’m closing my locker I turn to see the one and only person I wish would disappear.

“Hey.” He says, smiling.

“Go away.” I say, it’s harsh and I know it but for some reason I don’t care right then.

“So we aren’t going to talk about what happened at the dance?” He asks, green eyes gleaming.

“What happened at the dance? Nothing happened at the dance, therefore nothing to talk about.” I say, half walking half running down the hall.

“Listen if you don’t like me then I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. But can’t we at least be friends? Because you seem like a pretty cool person.” August asks.

“Not right now.” I say.

“Not right now? As in no we can’t be friends right now, or no I can’t talk right now, or something else?” August asks.

“No we can’t be friends right now, I have a lot going on.” I say.

“Like what? I could listen, I’m a very good listener.” August says, at what I assume is an attempt to make me laugh, and a poor one at that.

“Like how my father is getting remarried and I’m going to be a bridesmaid.” I say, pushing my way into the classroom. I am so glad August and I don’t have this class together.

“Fair enough.” August says, raising both hands in surrender and walking off, presumably to his class.

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank. God. Now I just have to figure out how to avoid him for the rest of my life. Oh and not feel bad about it. I mean he couldn’t be nicer, he is incredibly nice. He apologized for kissing me because he clearly understands that I’m not interested. And he still wants to be friends. The universe is making me a horrible person. Or am I making me a horrible person?

I don’t really know which is the correct answer. I mean I’m making the choice to avoid him. But I didn’t choose to fall in love with Leo. I don’t think anyone chooses to fall in love. I think if we got to choose we would all choose not to fall in love, because this is torture.

I don’t hear a word ms. Davies says during the entire class. My mind is elsewhere. Honestly I wouldn’t mind having my mind stuffed full of boring math, if it would mean that my mind isn’t on Leo and August, even for only a little while, the I would welcome it. But unfortunately that seems impossible.

I sit down at the lunch table and sigh. Leo’s not there yet, it’s just me and Ruby.

“Are you okay?” She asks me as I bury my head in my arms, my head is facing the gross cafeteria table but I don’t care. I raise my head and shoot her a look.

“Okay, dumb question.” She says.

“You think?” I ask.

“Hey, don’t be like that, I didn’t do anything.” She says. I love Ruby, she’s the type of person who knows when to shut up, when to speak, and will stick up for herself.

“You get to peacefully fall in love with your soul mate.” I say.

“It’s not like I made things this way, I didn’t choose my soul mate, and give you the ability to tell who’s your soul mate. I didn’t make you love Leo.” She says.

I sigh. “I know, I’m sorry, Ruby.”

“Anything I can do?” Ruby asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”

“Hey guys.” Leo says, sitting down and smiling.

“Hey.” Ruby and I say in unison.

“Are you okay?” Leo asks, giving me a concerned look.

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Ruby asks.

“No reason, I’m fine.” I say.

Leo nods. “Okay.” He says. That’s not like him, not at all. Leo is stubborn, to say the least. I’ve always found it a little endearing if not a little annoying, but this was unusual.

Everything about now is unusual. Blame it on love I guess. Ruby and Leo are talking now, laughing too. I laugh along, but I don’t think anything is funny. But sometimes life is so horrible that you just have to laugh at it.

My mother said that the day my father left. She started laughing and I didn’t understand why. And that’s what she told me. Sometimes life is just so horrible that you have to laugh. And it doesn’t help, it doesn’t fix it or make it better. But sometimes it’s all you can do.