It took such a long time for me to be able to tell him that, but it feels better knowing he knows. Clearly secrets are poisonous. So I’ve decided on something.

Hey, wanna meet up? I text.

Sure, where?

Beach?

Sounds good, see you there.

Don’t bring a surfboard

No worries, I’m never doing that again.

I laugh and hop off my bed. I grab my backpack and start downstairs.

“Hey, Charlotte.” Riley says, smiling.

“Hey,” I say, “I’m heading to the beach.”

“Okay, be back for dinner and no drowning.” She says, grinning.

I laugh, “well there goes my afternoon.”

I open the door and step out into the humid air. It’s the end of November and somehow it’s still sixty-three degrees out. And humid. Well that’s California for you.

I remember when I was nine my mom took me to Pennsylvania in November and I had seen snow for the first time. She actually filmed my reaction and we still have the video buried deep somewhere in our attic. I’ve seen it a few times, I had this look of pure wonder at the big fluffy flakes falling from the sky. I had tried to grab them, gotten on in my eye, and made a snow angel. Simpler times, when everything was black and white. I guess you could say that metaphorically my life is now a rainbow.

I make it to the beach and step onto the sand. The sand is hot from the sun, not as hot as in the summer when it could probably cause third degree burns (okay fine, maybe not, but something close).

“Hey!” August says, he’s standing pretty far down, close to the waves. Where he stands the waves wash over his feet.

“Hey.” I say.

“So whats up?” He asks, squinting at me, the sun in his eyes.

I take a breath, this was a lot easier in my head. “I have a secret.” I say.

“Okay . . . “ August trails off, clearly not understanding.

“I can see these strings,” I explain. “They . . . Okay, I’m gonna sound completely crazy.” I tell him.

“You kinda already do.” He grins and I can’t help but laugh.

“They connect soul mates.” I say, this had been a lot easier with Ruby, probably because she’s Ruby.

“What?” August asks.

“One heart to another, they’re soul mates.” I say.

“Soul mates . . . ,” He says, trying to wrap his head around this. “Real, actual, freaking soul mates?”

I nod.

“Wow, um . . . “ He says, scratching his head and staring at me in wonder.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” I ask.

He shakes his head slowly. “Not crazy. Weird sure but not crazy.” He says. “And weird is a good thing.” He says, quickly.

I sigh in relief.

“So do you know who my soul mate is?” He asks, and I feel my blood run cold.

I shake my head. “No, sorry.” I’m not ready to do that. I’m not ready to admit that. Is that wrong? Is that bad? Am I digging myself into a hole like I did with Leo? Would it be different if I couldn’t see soul mates? Would I seem less terrible? Maybe . . . Just another example of how soul mates make things so much more complicated.

“I hope I have a soul mate.” He muses.

“You do, I can see your string, if you didn’t like your soul mate had died or something the string would disappear.” I explain, looking at the ghostly string going from his heart to mine.

“Well that’s good.” He says, smiling.

“Thanks for not thinking I’m insane.” He says.

He laughs. “You are very welcome Charlotte Cassidy. And as long as we’re making some confessions I have one, well I guess it’s more of an apology.” He says.

I give him a questioning look. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“You remember that time I kissed you and you ran away?” He asks.

“Yeah . . . “ I trail off.

“Well I know I’ve already apologized but I’m going to do it again.” He says.

“You don’t have to.” I say.

“I apologized for kissing you, I’m not sure I apologized for being pushy, so yeah, I’m gonna do it again.” August says. “So I’m sorry that I was kinda pushy, I never meant to do that.”

“Apology accepted.” I say, smiling.

“And you’re not insane.” He grins.

“I’ve gotta go,” I say. “My mom is getting out of the hospital today.”

“Oh and the hospital!” August says, as if just remembering something. “I’ve been meaning to say, I meant to stop by, I’m really sorry I never got the chance.” He says.

“Oh don’t worry about that.” I say. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later.” August says.