“Come in.” I say, not looking up from my laptop screen.

The door opens and instead of Riley, who I thought it had been, walking it, Leo walks in. I stare at him for a moment, surprised.

“Hello.” I say, slowly.

He steps in and closes the door behind him. He sits down on the edge of my bed and looked at me for a moment. Then, he says, “Hello, Char.”

“I’m sorry.” I say. “I know I’ve said it already but I’m going to say it again. I’m sorry, I really am.”

“I know you are.” Leo says. “And I think I’m still a little mad at you, but it’s in the past.” He says.

“Really?” I ask, barely letting myself hope.

“Really, Char. I’m not sure I forgive you but it’s in the past.” He says.

I let out a sigh of relief. “I’m sorry again.” I say.

“Stop apologizing, there are other words much more important than “I’m sorry”.” He smiles, and I smile back.

“I just don’t know what else to say, it’s been all I can think about.” I say.

“Think about something else then.” Leo says, grinning.

“Like what?” I ask, hoping he’ll provide some ideas.

“Like the wedding,” he says, “when is that by the way?”

“Four days.” I say, smiling. “I’m going to Riley’s last dress fitting tomorrow.” I smile at the thought, I haven’t seen Riley’s dress yet but I know her mom agreed to the navy one in the magazine.

“You still being bridesmaid-zilla?” He asks, smiling back at me.

I shake my head. “Her mom wont be there.”

“Okay, well you have fun.” He says, kissing me on the forehead and standing up. “I have to go, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” I smile, my heart still skips a beat when he looks at me, I wonder if that’ll ever go away, I wonder if I want it to . . .

Leo leaves and my phone buzzes.

Mari Weathers gave me two tickets to a concert, she didn’t want the tickets. You want to come? It was August.

Sure, when is it? I type back.

tonight, 7:30 to 8:30 at The Catalyst Club.

Awesome! See you there.

See ya.

Later that night I’m standing outside of The Catalyst Club, which is alight with people, music, and neon lights.

“Hey!” A voice calls, and I turn. August is walking across the parking lot, waving at me. I wave back and smile.

“Hey!”

“Sorry I’m late, I got lost.” He says, sheepishly.

I laugh, “nice.”

“Hey, no judging, I’m new here.” He points out.

“You’ve still been here like two months.” I counter.

He shrugs. “Fine then, I just have a lousy sense of direction.”

I laugh, “come on.”

The band was half way through the concert when the power went out. Grumbling, everyone departed.

“Well that was pretty good.” August says, smiling. “Except for the ending, obviously.”

I nod in agreement. “They were pretty good.” I agree.

“Race you to the beach.” He says, taking off.

“What are you going to do? Swim?” I ask, racing after him.

We race down the sidewalk, weaving in and out of the crowd. The beach is about eight blocks from The Catalyst Club but we make it to the beach in record time.

“Ha! I win!” August shouts, dashing onto the sand.

“You’re taller, you have longer legs, therefore you had an advantage.” I say, but I’m grinning.

August stops at the shore, the waves washing against his feet and turns to me, grinning.

“Fair enough.” He says, shrugging. He takes a step towards me as a wave washing over his feet and his sandal slips off his foot and is washed into the ocean.

I stifle a laugh. “So first the surf board and now a sandal, you certainly have a talent for losing things in the ocean.”

He stares at his sandal, drifting farther and farther away. “What do I do? Do I go after my shoe?” He says more than asks.

“Yes, swim after your shoe and then I can save you from drowning again.” I say sarcastically.

“Well I guess I’m walking home with one shoe . . .” He says, sighing, and I laugh.

“Oh shut up.” He says, playfully hitting my shoulder.

It took such a long time for me to be able to tell him that, but it feels better knowing he knows. Clearly secrets are poisonous. So I’ve decided on something.

Hey, wanna meet up? I text.

Sure, where?

Beach?

Sounds good, see you there.

Don’t bring a surfboard

No worries, I’m never doing that again.

I laugh and hop off my bed. I grab my backpack and start downstairs.

“Hey, Charlotte.” Riley says, smiling.

“Hey,” I say, “I’m heading to the beach.”

“Okay, be back for dinner and no drowning.” She says, grinning.

I laugh, “well there goes my afternoon.”

I open the door and step out into the humid air. It’s the end of November and somehow it’s still sixty-three degrees out. And humid. Well that’s California for you.

I remember when I was nine my mom took me to Pennsylvania in November and I had seen snow for the first time. She actually filmed my reaction and we still have the video buried deep somewhere in our attic. I’ve seen it a few times, I had this look of pure wonder at the big fluffy flakes falling from the sky. I had tried to grab them, gotten on in my eye, and made a snow angel. Simpler times, when everything was black and white. I guess you could say that metaphorically my life is now a rainbow.

I make it to the beach and step onto the sand. The sand is hot from the sun, not as hot as in the summer when it could probably cause third degree burns (okay fine, maybe not, but something close).

“Hey!” August says, he’s standing pretty far down, close to the waves. Where he stands the waves wash over his feet.

“Hey.” I say.

“So whats up?” He asks, squinting at me, the sun in his eyes.

I take a breath, this was a lot easier in my head. “I have a secret.” I say.

“Okay . . . “ August trails off, clearly not understanding.

“I can see these strings,” I explain. “They . . . Okay, I’m gonna sound completely crazy.” I tell him.

“You kinda already do.” He grins and I can’t help but laugh.

“They connect soul mates.” I say, this had been a lot easier with Ruby, probably because she’s Ruby.

“What?” August asks.

“One heart to another, they’re soul mates.” I say.

“Soul mates . . . ,” He says, trying to wrap his head around this. “Real, actual, freaking soul mates?”

I nod.

“Wow, um . . . “ He says, scratching his head and staring at me in wonder.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” I ask.

He shakes his head slowly. “Not crazy. Weird sure but not crazy.” He says. “And weird is a good thing.” He says, quickly.

I sigh in relief.

“So do you know who my soul mate is?” He asks, and I feel my blood run cold.

I shake my head. “No, sorry.” I’m not ready to do that. I’m not ready to admit that. Is that wrong? Is that bad? Am I digging myself into a hole like I did with Leo? Would it be different if I couldn’t see soul mates? Would I seem less terrible? Maybe . . . Just another example of how soul mates make things so much more complicated.

“I hope I have a soul mate.” He muses.

“You do, I can see your string, if you didn’t like your soul mate had died or something the string would disappear.” I explain, looking at the ghostly string going from his heart to mine.

“Well that’s good.” He says, smiling.

“Thanks for not thinking I’m insane.” He says.

He laughs. “You are very welcome Charlotte Cassidy. And as long as we’re making some confessions I have one, well I guess it’s more of an apology.” He says.

I give him a questioning look. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“You remember that time I kissed you and you ran away?” He asks.

“Yeah . . . “ I trail off.

“Well I know I’ve already apologized but I’m going to do it again.” He says.

“You don’t have to.” I say.

“I apologized for kissing you, I’m not sure I apologized for being pushy, so yeah, I’m gonna do it again.” August says. “So I’m sorry that I was kinda pushy, I never meant to do that.”

“Apology accepted.” I say, smiling.

“And you’re not insane.” He grins.

“I’ve gotta go,” I say. “My mom is getting out of the hospital today.”

“Oh and the hospital!” August says, as if just remembering something. “I’ve been meaning to say, I meant to stop by, I’m really sorry I never got the chance.” He says.

“Oh don’t worry about that.” I say. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later.” August says.

I nod absentmindedly.

“Do you think Liam will be there?” She asks.

I look up from my laptop screen. We’re both sitting on my bed, a bowl of grapes balanced between us. I had been eating and scrolling through various social media as Ruby worried on.

“Have you two talked yet?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I tried, he wouldn’t answer. Do you think he’s really mad?”

“You two almost died. He’s bound to be a little freaked out.” I point out, popping a grape into my mouth.

“I really messed up.” Ruby says, putting her head in her hands. “I really, really messed up.”

“Calm down.” I say.

“No, I’m gonna keep complaining and be bitter about this, thanks.” Ruby says, and I can’t help but laugh. “Seriously though, Char. I was there for you ever Leo freak out you had, humor me.” She says.

“You’re right.” I say, closing my laptop I sit up straight and put on my best therapist face. “How are you feeling about all of this?” I ask in a mock serious tone.

Ruby throws her hands up in the air. “Fine then, you’re no help in fixing my relationship, I’ll just have to date myself then.”

I collapse into a pile of giggles and stand up, nearly capsizing the bowl of grapes.

“Come on, stupid. Lets get you ready for a party.”

“Ruby, Char, over here.” Leo says, waving at us from a spot on the beach. Liam is standing right next to him, frantically shaking his head and trying to walk away but Leo grabs his arm.

It’s pretty dark out already, and someones started a fire in a fire pit. Music is playing and people are dancing and chatting everywhere. I love parties on the beach, nice and open.

“Okay you two, time to work things out. Char, come on, we’re couple counselors now.” He says, gesturing for me to sit beside him.

“This is stupid.” Liam says.

“Don’t question the counseling.” Leo says, pointing a finger at Liam and stifling a smile.

“Now talk it out.” I say.

“Guys, you can’t be serious.” Ruby says.

Leo gives me a look. “We aren’t good at this.” He says, shaking his head and smiling.

I giggle. “We need a counseling counselor.”

Leo laughs too and starts scanning the beach.

“Hey!” He says, waving at someone I can’t quite make out, the smoke from the fire blowing right in from of my line of vision. “August, help us out here!”

I laugh as August walks over, giving us a peculiar look. “What do you need help with?” He asks, studying the scene. The look on his face makes me giggle. I guess it’s kinda weird looking. Leo and I sitting across from a very disgruntled looking Liam and eye-rolling Ruby.

“We’re counseling them,” I explain. “They’re fighting.”

August laughs, “counseling them?” He asks, giving us a look that clearly says we must not be doing a very good job.

“We’re not very good at it.” Leo says.

“I thought you were dead, Ruby!” Liam blurts out.

Leo, August, and I quiet. August sits down next to Leo and we all scoot back a bit. Watching the scene before us unfold.

“It was just a joke.” Ruby says, although she looks sheepish.

“We nearly died, you scared me.” Liam says.

“And you didn’t even give me a chance to apologize!” Ruby says.

“I-I . . . Yeah, I probably could’ve handled that better.” Liam says, smiling just a little bit.

“I’m sorry.” Ruby says.

“Aww.” Leo whispers and I elbow him we’ll August stifles a laugh.

“I’m sorry too.” Liam says. They look like they’re going to hug but then they look over at us and freeze.

“Okay now that’s borderline stalkery.” Ruby says.

“Stalkery isn’t a word.” August points out.

“Oh shush, you.” Ruby says, but she’s smiling.

“Charlotte,” Leo says, looking at me very seriously. “I think we’ve found our futures,” he says. “We’re going to be marriage counselors.” We all burst into fits of laughter.

Ruby and Liam are dancing so close to the ocean that the waves wash over their feet, August has wandered off looking for food, and Leo and I are lying on a blanket, set out on the sand.

“Can I ask you a question or do you think it would ruin the night?” Leo asks.

“I don’t even know the question how can I judge that?” I ask, smiling.

Leo shrugs, “fair enough. I’m just going to ask you then. What do you think my soul mate is like? Don’t get me wrong Char, I’m just asking.” He says.

“I have a confession.” I say, so quietly I’m barely even sure I spoke.

Leo raises an eyebrow. “Go on then.” He says, smiling comfortingly.

“Grace Lynch is your soul mate.” I say in a rush, I just need to get it over with.

“What?” Leo asks, sitting up.

I sit up too, hoping and hoping that I haven’t just ruined everything. Then again, if I have, I ruined it a long time ago, when I kept that secret.

“How long have you known this?” He asks.

I shrug, because I really can’t remember. “Awhile.” I whisper. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I never should’ve kept this a secret. I stare at the string, leading from his heart to a girl dancing in a throng of people, smiling and laughing and completely oblivious of what’s going on.

“Char . . . “ He whispers, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “I never should’ve kept it a secret, are you mad?”

“I don’t know.” He says. “I mean I can’t believe you didn’t tell me but . . . I really just don’t know.” He says.

I’ve messed up. I’ve messed up. Secrets destroy people. Secrets destroy relationships. Secrets ruin everything. Why couldn’t little me have understood this?

I feel like falling apart. Just crying. It would be stupid. I don’t want to be the dumb, prissy, girl who cries over a boy. I don’t want to be that person but here I am willing back tears.

I think it has more to do with everything than just him. The strings. The stupid, stupid strings. Strings should not exist. They shouldn’t exist at all. I hate the universe for looking down on baby me and going oh hey! I have a swell idea! Lets ruin her life!

Somehow I don’t think I’ve ruined everything. But I’m not sure we’ll ever be the same. I try to put myself in his shoes, and realize I kinda have been. The day August got onto the school bus. And suddenly I knew who the universe wanted me with. That’s how Leo feels.

But it’s different. He’s talked to Grace before. We were all pretty good friends back in elementary school. Nothing and no one can be ruined forever. But we can be changed forever.